1.22.2006
Sad song marathon
Sometimes I just look at the stars and wish that everything would just fade away then and there. Every dream, evey love, every memory. And then maybe I can start anew, and maybe then I wouldn't feel this way.
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There are times when I found myself staring into the celing of my room, thinking of nothing and everything at all. And the world just stops, and I close my eyes and I wish that that feeling would never end. Solitude.
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Sometimes I wish that I would be given another chance to start everything all over so I can rewrite some of the memories, and erase some that I think I'm better off without. But I realize that I'm powerless to do so, and just accept the fact that some things just can't be changed.
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There are times when I found myself screaming silently, running blindly, looking for someone that will never be there. And I realize that I just want the world to stop spinning for a moment and give me enough time to breathe and to save myself from drowning. Too much feelings or none at all. Sometimes it's difficult to sort everything out and not worry about a single thing. Sometimes it's a bit tiring to be happy when you're not even feeling remotely cheerful at all. Sometimes it hurts to pretend that everything will be ok, and him, or whoever, will be there to help you pick yourself up and continue walking. But I can't stop, not now, not anytime soon, because if I stop now, it would be the end, and I don't want that. I want to continue on, until I finally found what it is that I'm really looking for, whatever that is. Happiness is elusive, and I still don't know myself enough to stop looking for it.
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Hey. I'm ok. I can do it, I know I can. Or at least I'll try. I'll continue on.
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Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
~Oasis, Stop Crying Your Heart Out
Reported @ 11:33 AM
1.07.2006
stretching patience
I can do this.
And, I'll have him soon. Maybe not but. Patience.
Reported @ 11:43 AM
